Friday, April 29, 2005
Enough With The Waterworks...
I've decided that the world needs to pull the plug on the overly sentimental movies that Hollywood churns out from time to time. I'm not just talking "dramas", here, they have their place in the world, but I'm talking about the flicks that just go over the top at pulling the heart strings of the world.
Probably the best example I can think of is Steel Magnolias. Whatever points this movie gained by actually breaking the mold in some parts by being somewhat funny (two scenes I can think of at the moment), it lost immediately because this is a movie that will reduce most women and some men to rubble. Plus, as a bonus, since it has Sally Field in the cast, it means that there will be an industry required Sally Field breakdown at some point in the film. In this one, it was by the grave of her dead daughter... hell, she even did it in Mrs. Doubtfire!
Anyway, here's the plan, the next time there is a screening of Steel Magnolias or one of its tear jerker partners in crime (Step-Mom, Terms of Endearment, etc.), everyone who has read this needs to go in, sit down, and then laugh at the most inappropriate moments you can. While Julia Roberts keels over in front of her crying son, kick your legs with laughter like you were watching "Anchorman". When Sally Field has her little hissy fit in the cemetery, howl like the first time you saw "There's Something About Mary".
If enough of us get together on this one, the studios will start to think that they've lost their edge and just stop putting out this drek. Of course, it could back fire on us completely and they'll think they need to come up with more powerful drek to unleash on the world... oh, that would be horrible. I mean, Steel Magnolias had most of the heavy hitters of the genre in it already... all they would need to do is do a sequel with the same cast (Julia Roberts could be a ghost or something) and then add in Emma Thompson, Nicole Kidman, Susan Sarandon, and Ashley Judd (feel free to comment on who I'm missing from this list) and people would mistake the movie screen for the Wailing Wall.
Maybe I need to rethink this strategy a bit...
Jeff @ The Gag
Probably the best example I can think of is Steel Magnolias. Whatever points this movie gained by actually breaking the mold in some parts by being somewhat funny (two scenes I can think of at the moment), it lost immediately because this is a movie that will reduce most women and some men to rubble. Plus, as a bonus, since it has Sally Field in the cast, it means that there will be an industry required Sally Field breakdown at some point in the film. In this one, it was by the grave of her dead daughter... hell, she even did it in Mrs. Doubtfire!
Anyway, here's the plan, the next time there is a screening of Steel Magnolias or one of its tear jerker partners in crime (Step-Mom, Terms of Endearment, etc.), everyone who has read this needs to go in, sit down, and then laugh at the most inappropriate moments you can. While Julia Roberts keels over in front of her crying son, kick your legs with laughter like you were watching "Anchorman". When Sally Field has her little hissy fit in the cemetery, howl like the first time you saw "There's Something About Mary".
If enough of us get together on this one, the studios will start to think that they've lost their edge and just stop putting out this drek. Of course, it could back fire on us completely and they'll think they need to come up with more powerful drek to unleash on the world... oh, that would be horrible. I mean, Steel Magnolias had most of the heavy hitters of the genre in it already... all they would need to do is do a sequel with the same cast (Julia Roberts could be a ghost or something) and then add in Emma Thompson, Nicole Kidman, Susan Sarandon, and Ashley Judd (feel free to comment on who I'm missing from this list) and people would mistake the movie screen for the Wailing Wall.
Maybe I need to rethink this strategy a bit...
Jeff @ The Gag
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Wow, That's Pretty Low...
Anyone else read this story in the LA Times about this guy in Burbank, Kristopher Schwoch, who conned not only a bunch of the movie and TV studios into giving him passes to premieres and special showings in the name of charity, but also a bunch of other people who supposedly bought said tickets in auctions for charity? The guy's con was that he was just using the tickets for himself!
Oh yeah, you read that right... the studios would hand the tickets over to the dude and then he would auction them off to the highest bidder in the name of children's charity... THEN, when the poor schmos who paid all this money for the tickets showed up at the event, the Will Call window had nothing for them and this tool was inside living it up with the stars...
You know, I'm not a violent man, but sometimes you just want to punch somebody in the face for stuff like this... I mean, the legal system will have its turn for sure, but at most they can bust him for fraud and fine him... I doubt he'll get any real prison time and he'll probably just go figure out another scam to pull elsewhere, so a quick little punch in the face will make things all right in the world... I don't even want to knock him out, or down... just a quick pop to the nose that will stick with him for the rest of the day... that's all... is that too much to ask for?
Jeff @ The Gag
Oh yeah, you read that right... the studios would hand the tickets over to the dude and then he would auction them off to the highest bidder in the name of children's charity... THEN, when the poor schmos who paid all this money for the tickets showed up at the event, the Will Call window had nothing for them and this tool was inside living it up with the stars...
You know, I'm not a violent man, but sometimes you just want to punch somebody in the face for stuff like this... I mean, the legal system will have its turn for sure, but at most they can bust him for fraud and fine him... I doubt he'll get any real prison time and he'll probably just go figure out another scam to pull elsewhere, so a quick little punch in the face will make things all right in the world... I don't even want to knock him out, or down... just a quick pop to the nose that will stick with him for the rest of the day... that's all... is that too much to ask for?
Jeff @ The Gag
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Los Angeles Festival of Books
On Sunday I had the pleasure of visiting the annual Los Angeles Time Festival of Books. Sprawled over the UCLA campus, the festival provides the opportunity for book-a-holics to do countless meet and greets with publishers and authors. I say "countless" here because besides the organized events that take place in the many lecture halls across campus, each of the various publishers that are represented there also have individual signings and readings events at their booths as well.
One of the author events I was able to attend was for Eric Idle, who was pushing his new book, "The Greedy Bastard Diary : A Comic Tour of America". Idle was in grand form at the presentation, answering every question with the fantastic comic timing that he and his fellow Python alumni have become famous for since their first appearance on the BBC decades ago.
The book was originally written as a series of blog entries as he made his way across the country on a 49 city tour where he performed a lot of the Monty Python bits that his fans have now since memorized, but also to try stand-up comedy for the first time. The entries have been cleaned up a bit and not surprisingly present loads of hilarious commentary on the various cities he visits. What is surprising is how candid he is about other very touching subjects, like his 13 year old daughter, the death of his parents and his friend George Harrison, and his political musings on the United States and its leaders. After the presentation, I was lucky enough to get him to sign my copy of the book and shake his hand... truely a nice guy and someone you would no doubt like to hang out with at a bar and talk shop over a pint with.
Next year, I plan on doing considerably more planning for the event... mapping out the various authors I would like to see in much greater detail so I can make sure to see them all (that is, unless I decide to get a booth myself - we do sell books on magic at The Gag after all). For instance, Kevin Smith and Walter Mosley were both there and I just didn't get it together in time to get the advance tickets needed to get into the auditoriums, which were always packed no matter who was speaking.
If you live in the Los Angeles area, I highly suggest putting next year's event on your calendar. All the events are free, including the author discussions (however, you do need to drop by a Ticketmaster to pick up the free tickets) and there are booths for every type of reading imaginable, from mysteries, to political commentary, to comic books.
Talk to you soon,
Jeff @ The Gag
One of the author events I was able to attend was for Eric Idle, who was pushing his new book, "The Greedy Bastard Diary : A Comic Tour of America". Idle was in grand form at the presentation, answering every question with the fantastic comic timing that he and his fellow Python alumni have become famous for since their first appearance on the BBC decades ago.
The book was originally written as a series of blog entries as he made his way across the country on a 49 city tour where he performed a lot of the Monty Python bits that his fans have now since memorized, but also to try stand-up comedy for the first time. The entries have been cleaned up a bit and not surprisingly present loads of hilarious commentary on the various cities he visits. What is surprising is how candid he is about other very touching subjects, like his 13 year old daughter, the death of his parents and his friend George Harrison, and his political musings on the United States and its leaders. After the presentation, I was lucky enough to get him to sign my copy of the book and shake his hand... truely a nice guy and someone you would no doubt like to hang out with at a bar and talk shop over a pint with.
Next year, I plan on doing considerably more planning for the event... mapping out the various authors I would like to see in much greater detail so I can make sure to see them all (that is, unless I decide to get a booth myself - we do sell books on magic at The Gag after all). For instance, Kevin Smith and Walter Mosley were both there and I just didn't get it together in time to get the advance tickets needed to get into the auditoriums, which were always packed no matter who was speaking.
If you live in the Los Angeles area, I highly suggest putting next year's event on your calendar. All the events are free, including the author discussions (however, you do need to drop by a Ticketmaster to pick up the free tickets) and there are booths for every type of reading imaginable, from mysteries, to political commentary, to comic books.
Talk to you soon,
Jeff @ The Gag
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Welcome!
Welcome to The Gag Blog!
Ohhh, you lucky so and so, you're one of the first visitors to the newest addition to The Gag - its very own blog! For those of you that stumbled in from a different source, The Gag is the home of the best in classic and modern pranks, gag gifts, and magic tricks on the net.
Here, I, Jeff Ferguson, owner of The Gag, will post about anything that crosses my path as the owner of an online prank and magic shop - the latest products, customer comments, special coupons, or anything that's on my mind that day.
Speaking of coupons, just for being on the first to check out the site, here's a little something for ya - 10% off your order! That's right, just enter "gagblogapr" into the coupon code box at checkout and we'll give you 10% off your entire order. Enjoy!
Look for what will hopefully be more interesting postings here in the very near future.
Jeff @ The Gag
Ohhh, you lucky so and so, you're one of the first visitors to the newest addition to The Gag - its very own blog! For those of you that stumbled in from a different source, The Gag is the home of the best in classic and modern pranks, gag gifts, and magic tricks on the net.
Here, I, Jeff Ferguson, owner of The Gag, will post about anything that crosses my path as the owner of an online prank and magic shop - the latest products, customer comments, special coupons, or anything that's on my mind that day.
Speaking of coupons, just for being on the first to check out the site, here's a little something for ya - 10% off your order! That's right, just enter "gagblogapr" into the coupon code box at checkout and we'll give you 10% off your entire order. Enjoy!
Look for what will hopefully be more interesting postings here in the very near future.
Jeff @ The Gag
